Oh Lustful Crime, Seduce Me
by MissMahjong
Summary: John has noticed an interesting habit in Sherlock, giving a whole new meaning of being married to his work. Bromance, Friendship


Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to their respective creators.

~ Oh Lustful Crime, Seduce Me.

John and Sherlock are friends, good friends, even though people talked about them being lovers, they weren't, those were just rumors. The closest name for their relationship was a bromance, because although they cared for each other, there was no sexual attraction or romantic love. John was attracted to women, and Sherlock, in his own words, was married to his work. Recently, John started thinking that Sherlock meant that literally, because he noticed little incidences that he normally never paid attention to, just small little phrases and words Sherlock would mumble under his breath when examining corpses, crime scenes, evidence, etc.

At first, John would brush off what Sherlock would mumble, thinking it was more scientific jabber. Then, on one case they were on, John heard what Sherlock murmured about a horseshoe and some rope,

"Saucy."

John wasn't entirely sure if he heard right at the time, and never thought about it again. The next time it happened was when Sherlock was going over evidence about a political homicide, with all the evidence on the mirror, easy for Sherlock to review and think.

John was making tea on the kitchen when he heard a low,

"Mmm, yes, like that."

John, once again wasn't sure he heard right that time and looked over at Sherlock in puzzlement. 'Did he really just say that?' Watson was ready to ask the detective if he did say something when he heard another low mumble,

"Ooh baby."

Yup, John heard right, no need to question Sherlock if he said anything, because he did, and John wasn't sure if he wanted to know why, he continued with tea.

After that, John couldn't help but pay attention to Sherlock when they were investigating a case, trying to listen out for those words. The words and phrases would range, depending how complex the crime was to solve. For the easy to solve ones, John heard tame words like, 'Ooh, yeah' or 'Mm-hm' and for the difficult ones, John heard more graphic phrases like, 'Oh, you filthy tart' and 'such a cock tease'. Going on cases now, seemed more fun to the doctor, because it was amusing to hear would Sherlock say next.

So, here they were, entering a house of a double murder, with John hearing a low, 'Mmm' from the detective, the show just begun. Around the house were various investigators, forensics team and other personnel of the Yard. Lestrade was yammering on about something with the murder, John tuned him out, only listening for Sherlock. Sherlock was walking around the living room, where the first body was, humming low in his throat, observing the body and surroundings. He stopped and breathed in with a slight shudder of possible delight, John noticed, oh this was new.

"Where's the other corpse?"

"Up stairs, in the guest bedroom." Lestrade replied

Sherlock moved from the living room, the main entry hall and up the stairs,

"Ooh, yeah." Sherlock whispered as he took the stairs, making quick observations and deductions, although he has yet to say any thing out loud.

John strained to hear it, but non-the-less heard it.

"Mm, don't stop."

Sherlock mumbled tame words but that changed when they entered the guest bedroom. Sherlock gasped, John heard it and so did Lestrade, due to the questionable look on his face; he looked from Sherlock to John for an explanation but got nothing. The tall detective studied the second body, the room, making more unspoken deductions.

"Oh, you minx."

The temptation to giggle was strong for John but he held it together, keeping his cool. Sherlock was on a trail, murmuring low but every so often now.

"Yeah." Sherlock left the room

"That's good." To the main bed room

"That's it, yeah, keep going." He entered that room

"So naughty." Began looking around the room with John and Lestrade hanging back near the doorway.

"You dirty bitch, I like that." Sherlock examined the large bookshelf in the room. Lestrade gave John a look of 'what the hell is he doing?' The doctor made a motion of not to disturb the scene.

"That's the spot, sexy." The brunette found a trick book that opened a secret wall that revealed a small stair well going up.

"Mm, yes, yes." Sherlock went up the stairs, his whispers of pleasure getting louder. For a small while, John and Lestrade waited in silence before they heard,

"Oh, Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh God! Yes! So Fucking Good! Ah! Dirty Bitch! You Know What I Like! Fuck Yes!" Sherlock shouted his pleasure at finding the last clue and key evidence, so loud that all Yard personnel within the house heard it. John lost his self-control and laughed so hard his eyes were tearing up in mirth, completely taken by surprise at the shouts but still found it amusing. Lestrade was stunned, wondering what the hell just happened and why John found it so amusing. Sherlock came back into the room, clam and confidant, only to find John laughing hysterically and Lestrade looking shocked and some what peeved.

"John, what's so funny?"

The doctor tried to clam down but laughed harder and left the room, howling in laughter.

"Should I be worried that he may be the killer?"

"No, I know who the killer is, it's the son."

"What?"

"Yeah, their son did it, the family was arguing and fighting due to his mother having and affair with the boy's boyfriend, their son told his father, who then confronted her about it and they started to fight physically. The mother was obsessed about her son's boyfriend because his pictures are all over that secret room as well as a small shrine."

"And the son."

"On his way to the states, although at this rate, he's probably waiting in the terminal for his flight."

Lestrade set Yard into action.

Back at the flat, Sherlock was typing the case on his website, while John was typing on his blog, holding in a giggle or two, which irritated Sherlock, 'what was John so bloody happy about?'

Sherlock scrutinized John, trying to figure out what made the doctor so giddy. John felt eyes on him, glanced over at Sherlock and his inquisitive glare and dissolved in to laughter again. Sherlock was frustrated, he needed to know.

"Care to share with the class what you find so amusing?"

"You!"

One of Sherlock's eyebrows twitched in irritation.

"And why am I so funny?"

"You mean, you don't know?"

"Obviously not or I wouldn't be asking." Sherlock spoke through a jaw tight with growing impatience.

John snorted, letting out a guffaw of laughter, living out the true meaning of laughing out loud.

"JAWN!"

The doctor tried to collect him self but the occasional giggle would escape, with Sherlock's eyes narrow and waiting for an explanation.

"You mean you don't notice?"

"John." Sherlock growled out.

"You get off on solving cases." John chuckled out. That statement deflated Sherlock of all his aggressive emotions, giving the doctor a bewildered look.

"What?"

"That's right, you get off on trying to solve a case, talking dirty every time."

"I don't believe you." Sherlock shrugged

"You don't have to, I've got proof, I recorded you on my phone."

John played the audio of Sherlock from earlier, and watched with unadulterated smugness as Sherlock's face turn from pale cream to tomato red. The detective quickly left the living room, when John called out,

"I guess you really are married to your work!"

**Author's Note:** Oh My Goodness! Hope you enjoyed that, review if you want.


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